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Monday, September 13, 2010

Bitter or Better?


I just finished reading "Falling Leaves" by Adeline Yen Mah and was completely blown away - please read the book if you ever get the chance. The story of the book is briefly discussed in my other blog http//thehavenofrest.blogspot.com - it is the true story of child abuse and eventual triumph, an autobiography of an unwanted Chinese daughter. The book reminds me of "Angela's Ashes" which is another true autobiography of child abuse and eventual triumph. These kinds of stories just hold so much fascination to me because I want to know how some people can be born into horrendous conditions beyone their control, enduring abuse and torment and yet grow into loving people who are without bitterness - yet others who go through the same circumstances emerge as hard, mean, bitter individuals. How can this happen? Same circumstances, yet mere children have such different ways of looking at it. Do you know of cases like those talked about in these books? Have you experienced it yourself? Have you been able to overcome bitterness to become better?

5 comments:

  1. Great expression on your girl. Makes me wonder what she's up to...

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  2. I wonder the same thing about why some people overcome bitterness and some people hold onto bitterness. It's like they live in the past and re-live the experiences through the same eyes year after year. Maybe it's a conscious choice to either appreciate the best in people and enjoy life or get stuck in a cycle of negativity and insecurity.

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  3. Susan: Thank you for the observation. The model was my favorite model - she always had that mona lisa smile where the corner of her mouth turns up ever so slightly. The title of the painting is "Idle Lament" because although she is wearing mourning clothes, her expression gives the impression that she is sort of glad about the death.

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  4. Tonja - it is a conundrum isnt't it? These kind of stories gives me hope and I marvel at the courage and love of the individuals.

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  5. I believe children who endure this abuse and neglect all try to protect themselves by going to a "different place". Some of them believe they are to blame, either through actions or some "shortcoming" about themselves. If they are lucky at some point they question the abuser's reason and realize it is directed at an event in the abuser's life, not at themself. They can thus forgive and grow. Some children "wall off" and never come to this understanding. These individuals may become bitter, lead lonely lives and repeat as an abuser themself.

    Your blog is wonderful and thought provoking. Have you ever lived in Florida?

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